We've all see the picture, you know the one. It's usually a cell phone picture. The back ground is a mess, clothes, toiletries and food wrappers in the everywhere. A dirty toilet in the background. A dirty kitchen that still has last night's used dishes. A smelly ash tray. Over flowed kitty litter box. You know the picture.
A common complaint is a provider's in call being dirty. I don't know about you, as far as I go, I can't relax and get comfortable when I'm afraid something might be growing in the laudry pile or I have smell a dirty ash tray, yesterday's dinner or laundry and bath towels that are begining to grow mold. What is the impression you get when you walk in to a mess like this? How long do you want to stay? How many qualtiy clients is that going to attract? How easy is it to relax in someone's mess?
If a provider doesn't care enough to make sure her place is clean, inviting and smells good, how is she going to expect her business to grow? How much does she care? How does she feel about herself? What other parts of the meeting will she slack on? What kind of environment is she OK with her family living in? What is her personal life like that she can't fulfill the basic need of cleaniness. How clean is she as a person?
I've been told many times thorugh the years that a gentleman won't return to a provider's in call due to the mess. It doesn't take long to clean up after youself and keep a clean place. I'm not implying OCD-type cleaniness, just clean and tidy. Give your clients a comfortable place to escape life for a little bit. Give him the complete experience, a reason to come back. Show him you take pride in yourself and have enough self love to give yourself a nice, clean place to be. Show him you're worth the effort and he will appreciate it much more and see you in a better light.
I get compliments on how clean my in call is. It's not hard to keep it that way. I clean up after myself, do my regular cleaning and keep odors and mold from growing. I couldn't relax in a mess and I feel dirty when I leave a dirty place myself. If I can't relax in a mess, I'm not going to expect anyone else to. It doesn't take that long to keep a clean place.
Bathroom pictures are never flattering, clean or not.
It's the little things that matter.
A common question I get and one that was request for me to blog about is what do I do when I have free time while on tour.
Well, I do a lot :)
I cook when I can get hotels with a kitchen or rent a house. Having a kitchen is a the top of my "must haves" when I'm searching for a location. I eat a high nutrient, low garbage diet, not the kind of food in most restaurants. I'll either bring my own food, go shopping or both after getting settled in. I do eat out, just not every day. I don't like the way that makes me feel. I'm high energy and active, I need the best high nutrient, organic, non GMO food I can get my hands on. What eating like this does to my energy level, mental sharpness and body are amazing.
I walk, hike, run, whatever my current mood is. I like to stay at places that have nice trails. I love to be out in nature, clearing my mind, getting exercise. I also workout either at a local gym, the hotel gym or in my room. I'm not one to sit, I need to move.
I study. I learn. I grow. I usually bring more books than I can read in the time I'm touring. I research. I'm a nerd at heart and there's so much I want to know, learn, do and experience. I'm grateful for the access to so much information. I don't read fiction, I want to read something I can grow from, something I can use to imporve me and my knowledge.
I visit people. Depending on the city, I visit peeps I know or meet providers I don't know. There are some amazing ladies in this hobby!!
What I don't do:
Shop. I hate shopping. I find it boring and time consuming. If I need to go into a store, I get what I need and leave. I'll shop online before I spend my day shopping. I have all I need and material things just don't do it for me.
Watch TV. I don't watch a lot of TV and when I do it's usually something that can benefit me. I can't get into sitting on the couch and watching sitcoms, movies, etc. I've watched them and there are a few I like however, to make a habit of that or make the TV my default when I'm bored doesn't fit my lifestyle.
Sit on my computer and stay on hobby sites. I check my messages through out the day however, to sit on the computer all day trying to drum up meetings seldom increases my business. This I know from experience. I do spend some time, of course. I do not let it consume my day.
Staring at my phone. This is mindless.
Going to clubs, bars, nightlife. Just not my thing, I out grew that many years ago. Even then, I wasn't huge on bars and clubs. I don't drink, do drugs or smoke, those things never appealed to me. I'm not a party girl.
Have so many meetings I don't have down time or any time for me. To some this is success, to me this is exhausting and a great way to burn out. I have 1 meeting a day. This allows me to be well rested, at my best mentally and physically and not be in a rush at all. I like to take my time and get to know someone, make a connection. I can't do that if my calendar is full and I'm exhausted from the last 2 meetings. I'm not one that wants a full calendar, I have hiking, cooking and reading to do also :)
I know this isn't the answer those who ask the question are looking for. One client even tried to get me to "admit" that I do things I don't do. Why would I lie? I just figured he's one of those who put labels on people then act all surprised when somone doesn't fit that label. It's all good. I kinda like the look on people's faces when I tell them what I'm really about.
Stripping off a label can be one hell of a sexy experience!!!
There's trends to everything...food, fashion, politics, music, almost anything you can think of has trends. This wonderful hobby is no exception. In the years I've been in this hobby, I've seen many trends come and go. Some harmless, some dangerous, some just rediculous, some are great.
Lately the trends in the hobby haven't been all that good and some are downright dangerous putting many of us in danger. It seems to have gotten worse since the spring of 2018. I've mentored many ladies away from these trends, some thought it was the way to do things. Not even close. They not only become safer, they give better service.
Here are a few trends that I have been watching and completely avoiding.
1. I have never and will never lower my rate, exchange services for or pay for a review. The people that do this put us all at risk. In my humble opinion, they have completely bastordized the review system and they are no longer a safety tool. Every one of my reviews were written by legit clients that have decided on their own to write reviews. I've never asked for one nor will I. I also no longer use reviews to verify a provider before checking a reference with her. I've had many clients tell me they no longer use reviews when looking for a legit provider.
Basically, the review system has weeded out higher end, safe, great clients due to the disohonesty and abuse of the review system. These guys have lost a safety tool. I have a handful of regulars that deal with this by checking with me or other providers and hobbiest before they see someone. I recommend one of the ladies I know well that work on the level I do which does not include the bastorized review system. The ladies that buy or exchange free or cheap services for reviews do not inprove their business. They created a chain between themselves and the lower end of the hobby and no longer have access to the higher end clients.
I get offers e mailed to me monthly, sometimes weekly, to pay for reviews. I get offered to either pay a sum of money up front or give free or discounted services. They say the reviews are written and aren't posted until their approved by me. If I'm exchanging services, the review gets written BEFORE we meet and we meet AFTER it's posted.
You gotta be cold hearted, ignroant, selfish human being with the will to put other human beings at risk for a few bucks to cooperate with this.
When it comes to the Whitelist or OKs on ANY site, their treated like the review system, read the above verbage again and insert Whitelist or OKs where the word review is.
2. This one is newer...Providers charging for reviews. I found out this was going on when a gentleman tried to use a provider as a reference. I messaged her, she didn't respond to me. She messaged the gentleman and said she'll give him a review after he sends her $100 for doing so. DO NOT cooperate with this. No one should pay for a reference and the reference system doesn't need to be bastorized like the review system and whitelists are. Charging for references is unprofessional and is treating a gentleman that chose to see a provider like a dollar sign. These are human beings, not dollar signs. Yes, we're providing a service however, that service is to other sentient beings, treat them as you would want to be treated. Charging for references, which take very little time to begin with, is unprofessional.
NO ONE SHOULD PAY FOR A REFERENCE...EVER!!!!
3. Lack of screening. Need I say more? When you choose to provide on the lower end, you're going to get a ton of guys who don't like to cooperate with screening. This is only the norm on the more dangerous ends of the hobby. Why any provider would risk her well being and her life by not screening or screening poorly is beyond me. It seems to be the norm. Things like meeting in public, social media including LinkedIn, business cards, website handles and Skype are NOT screening. They do nothing to keep anyone safe. When I put up an ad on a lower end site (I took it down after 3 hours of non-stop texts and e mails and not one meeting), I get guys who don't even know what real screening is and are in shock when I send them my screening options.
Many of my clients choose to see me because I screen well and care about both our safety and well being. No lady is saving herself time or money or staying safe by not investing in better advertising and improving her knowledge. She is, however, chooing to work in a dangerous area of the hobby for peanuts.
4. Dangerous hobby sites. This ties into number 3 as well. There has always been lower end websites and there always will be. Now they out number the good websites. There's a lot of dangerous garbage out there and certain sites seem to attract it. I leave a site, never to return when:
The site pushes reviews and encourages ladies to lower their rate or see someone for free to get reviews on that site. These sites seem to harbor the dangerous undesirables, as I noticed when I had my lower end ad up for 3 hours as mentioned above. Sites like TER had it right. They weren't perfect however, they never told me to lower my rate or see someone for free in exchange for reviews. Doing this will create a lower end clientele that uses the review system to their advantage at the expence of the safety of ever other person on that site. Some of these sites also have their own "screening" systems. No thanks, if you encourage the dangerous act of using reviews in negioations, your "screening" isn't going to be safe. Most of their "screening" is nothing more than a glorified whitelist which should never be used for screening.
The hobby has grown more and more dangerous and the ones who make it that way seem to breed like rabbits. It's very important we all arm ourselves with the proper information and make sure we're playing at the higher end of the hobby. What you may think saves some money can get your hurt or worse. Lowering rates or giving free servies in exchange for a review will only get you more of the guys that want that. It will NOT get you the higher end gentlemen that will treat you like gold and never lower you to exchanging anything for a review.
I have notice a coorlation between the quality of client and where he finds his providers. For example, I get almost no issues from guys that find me on P411, Slixa or Grain Belt News. My phone and e mail blow up with guys looking for cheap or free services, no screening, car meetings, $80 specials, dangerous acts and don't know how to talk to a lady when I gave Skip the Games, Erotic Monkey and Adult Look a try, hence the ad I took down in 3 hours.
Of course you can find the diamond in the ruff on the lower end sites, lots of ladies start there then step it up as they learn better. You can also get nonsense on the higher end sites. However, if I use a lower end site, I'm ASKING for the nonsense. When I use a higher end site, I'm ASKING for the higher end clientele. I get maybe, and I mean MAYBE 1 undesireable contacting me in a month with lower end nonsense. That's a lot less than a solid 3 hours that lead to no meetings. The website a provider advertises makes a HUGE difference.
5. Word of Mouth - I have a handful of gentlemen that check with me BEFORE contacting a new provider. If I don't know the girl or feel she's not safe, they don't see her. A few other providers have claimed to have clients like this as well. They completely bypass the reveiws system and lower end websites. I'm not going to know a lower end girl so there's no chance I'll recommend one to one of my clients. This is a great trend, it's the best answer I can think of as an answer the dangerous changes in the hobby. This trend I don't avoid, I would like to see it grow.
At the end of the day YOUR safety is YOUR responibility. Just like when you learn to play a sport, drive a car, buy a house or cook a meal, lack of knowledge can really hurt you, particuarly when it comes to safety. Don't lose your head just because it's the hobby, learn what you need to. Choose to be a part of the safety, not the danger. It's all a choice.
I'm writing this on request of a client and in response to the many, many questions I get about my travel dates. This should answer some common questions and concerns however, if you have a question or concern this does not answer, you're welcome to e mail me :)
I'm available to travel to meet you with in the United States. I don't travel abroad as of right now.
I understand that other ladies my do things a bit differently, we all do our own thing. I do things in a way that keeps me safe and relaxed and caters to what you're looking for without some of the headaches that could be had.
I make all my own travel arrangements which means you don't have to worry about finding me lodging and travel and getting me around. I do all of that. I get myself to where we agree to meet without any work on your end. I arrive a day early so I have time to recoup from the travel and be my best in body, mind and spirit when we meet.
When I'm in town, I'm in town for YOU which means I'm seeing no one else.
I will be porperly dressed for what we have planned. I don't drink or do drugs, I'll always be sober and ready for a great time. I'm an educated, intelligent lady who takes pride in who she is. You can expect me to condust myself as such.
I'm in this for the experience, this is something we have in common. I do what I enjoy and I respect you and your time enough to not accept a travel date if it includes something I won't ennjoy. Enjoyment is a mutual experience and I would rather not do something I don't enjoy than to fake it. That's just lieing to you and not what you're looking for.
I will never share names or personal info. Here are a few experiences I've had with all personal info removed:
A. Staying in town so we can meet as our schedule allows is a popular one. I come in for a day or longer and meet you as your schedule allows. Need to squeese me between meetings? Need to only meet after work or in the morning before you start you day? No problem!! All I need is to know when to be back or any other meeting place as I like to go out on my down time.
B. Hanging out all day is always fun. The list of things we can do all day is endless!! Just a few things I've done on all day dates are amusement parks, concerts, fairs, walking around the city and checking things out, museums, date for daytime events, theater and lunch, fancy schmancy dinner, casual dinner, staying in and chilling, ordering in food, I can go on for quite a long time!! I can enjoy myself anywhere. I just need to know where we're going so I can be properly dressed.
C. I can meet you on a get away. Need a date in Vegas for part or all of your stay? Want a beach buddy? Want to have dinner one night your on vacation? Need a buddy for your entire vacation? I can meet you on your travels, stay for a little bit, for your entire vacation or any measure of time in between.
D. Are you in an area where a date is hard to find? Just want a few hours? I can accomondate that!!
I'm flexible and don't mind accomondating you. I'm experienced enough to cater to what you're looking for in a way we both enjoy. I'm trustworth and honest, you'll never get games out of me. I show up when and where planned.
Here are a comments I've had about my travel dates:
"Thank you for a great experience, I haven't had that much fun on a date in years" - Recently divorced client
"Great time, we'll have to do it again!" - Client on our third travel date
"Thank you for working with my crazy schedule" - Client whose schedule didn't allow him to give me a solid time
"You made me feel amazing" - Client that was nervous at first but relaxed later
"Thank you for treating me so nice" - Client who had bad experiences
I hope this cleared up questions. I'm happy to answer more questions privately.
Life has changed in some awesome ways, I can honestly say I'm truly blessed :)
This wonderful life change has created some last minute changes in how I do things within this wonderful hobby we're all a part of. These changes came abruptly and I rescheduled my upcoming tours.
Here's how I'm operating these days:
I'm going to tour the first week of every month. I've limited my cities to St. Louis, Kansas City, Houston, Sedona and Phoenix. Some of them will be UTR, some will not. As I progress, more and more will be UTR.
The remainder of the month I'm available for out call in Milwaukee, MKE, Madison, N. Illinois and O'Hare.
I still have only one meeting a day, that will never change :)
I'm still available to travel within the United States to see you :) I love to travel!!
Please visit my "Rates" tab for full details.
You're welcome to contact me with any questions :)
I'm all about personal growth, improvements and becoming the best version of myself. I believe we're all presonally responisible for ourselves in every way, including the type of person we are. One of the things I feel strongly about is being a nonjudgmental person. This didn't come quickly or easily however, I managed to achieve it. It's a mindset that brings better energy, feelings, relationships, and makes life better. It's one of my best accomplishments.
To be honest, the hardest thing to stop judging was myself. I was so self critical in an unhealthy way. It served no one and didn't make me happy either. It created an energy around me that made me not want to be in my own presence. I certainly didn't want to do that to anyone else or to myself so I got to work addressing that issue. I kicked it's butt and life is better as well as the people in it. This makes living as a Buddhist more...um...Buddhist, there's no longer a gap between my beliefs and my thoughts and actions. If I'm going to claim to be something, I need to be it.
When I say non-judgment, I mean NON-judgment. It's a mindset, a way of living. I don't judge anyone. I do, however, use discernment. If someone brings out drugs during a session, I'm not going to judge them. To each their own. I'm going to immediately leave because that kind of thing doesn't belong in my world or anywhere near me. I won't think bad of them, that will only bring negative energy to me.
I stongly belive in REAL freedom. When you judge someone, you don't believe in freedom, you believe in conformity. We all live our freedom differently. As long as no one is getting hurt (offending someone is OK, you can't do that without their permission and them externailizin their power to you), there isn't a wrong way to live your freedom.
When you see me, there is a certain equiette you can expect as I conduct myself with class, dignity and respect. My Karma is very important to me so I do all I can to keep it positive. I do believe what we put out into the world comes back to us. The Golden Rule is a way of life for me.
When we meet in your home, I arrive in a vehicle that won't get your neighbor's attention and I don't have my radio blasting. I'm dressed to blend in. I drive as I should and if you asked me to park in a certain area, I do so. When I come in, I respect your home as I do mine. I take off my shoes, espically if the weather is bad. I don't touch anything, I have no reason to. I don't wonder around your home or go in rooms or areas that I have no business to.
I take pride in the fact that I'm trustworthy in anyone's home. I've even been left alone in homes when a run to the ATM was needed. I've been left alone in areas of homes while the gentleman stepped out for a phone call. I've been asked to go in and make myself comfortable because the gentleman wasn't sure if he will be a few minutes late and left the door unlocked for me. I've been left with wallets, computers, and other expenstive things in hotel rooms while the gentlemen stepped into the restroom. The bottom line here is you can trust me in your home and around your things.
I don't overstay my welcome. We all have lives and responbilities. I have a great appreciation for anyone who takes time out of their busy schedule to see me. I'm going to respect your time and not stay past our agreed on time. I will, however, stay the entire agreed upon time, unless you kick me out early :)
My wellness is my number one priority in life so I don't abuse my body with drugs and alcohol. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life. You'll never have to worry about substances being brought into your home or sitting outside in my car. You can expect me to not only look great but have a clear and sober mind as well. I don't need to use substances to see you. I truly enjoy what I do. I show up sober, in a good mood and ready for a wonderful time with you.
When I tour, I offer in calls however, not just any in call location will do. I prefer nicer areas, you won't see me in a high crime area or anyplace that isn't nice. When I'm in a hotel, I use 3 stars or better. The place has to be clean, well reviewed and big. Big isn't always easy to find so I get the biggest available to me. I see only 1 person a day so no one was ther before you that day. When I use a house, apartment, condo, etc, I rent them myself. I make sure we have our privacy and you have a place to park. My requirements are as high as they are for hotels. No place I rent has a lot of traffic, it's you and me only that day :)
When on Lunch or Dinner dates, you can expect me to be properly dressed and ready for a great time. I'm flexible, I can dress up and behave all fancy or throw on shorts and go for a hike. I have a wide variety of interests and love to try new things. I prepare myself mentally as well as physically so I'm in the right state of mind for whatever we have planned :)
Regardless of how you see me, you can expect me to be at my best, properly dressed, well rested and ready for a great time. Our lives are precious, none of us should spend it doing anything that doesn't make us happy.
There are 2 kinds of people in this world, those who allow drama in their lives and those who don't. I prefer to be around the latter. I am the latter. It makes me uncomfortable when someone tries to bring drama my way. Drama serves no one and usually hurts someone while abondaning the truth. I don't see it as a form of entertainment or worth my attention at all.
This does not mean I'm a push over and don't stick up for myself. I'm anything but and I will stand up for myself when needed. Where I differ from a lot of people is WHEN its needed. Is the other person or people deserving of a reaction out of me? Will it make a difference? Will it serve me? Will it change anything? Does it really matter? Am I better off letting it go and removing the other person or people from my world? Did they belong there in the first place?
The last thing you will see me doing is defending myself against rumors and gossip. I have chosen to surround myself with people who are above that and wouldn't believe a rumor anyway. In fact, the chances of the people in my world even hearing the rumors and gossip are slim to none. I have control over who is in my world, in my life. I do not choose people who participate in nonsense. I prefer people with bigger things to set their minds on and talk about. I simply don't hang around people who participate in nonsense.
Since I have risen above rumors and gossip, it's powerless to effect me. It's not worth my time. I leave it beneath me where it belongs and hang out with others that have risen above. Chances are, I won't hear the gossip and rumors myself becasue I'm so far removed from that world and people.
I won't argue online, really, could you get anymore mindless and cowardly?
A while ago, a girl claimed to be me on a networking site. I put up a post letting people know that she wasn't me. I then asked her to take the ad down. Someone responded on that site with mentioning a cat fight. My first impression is "well, I need to make sure I never see that guy" The fact that he would enjoy the mindless sickness tells me that he isn't the type of person I want to see. Who encourages fights in any way then is entertained by them? How eventless and boring have you allowed your existence to become that your entertained by drama? Just like in real life, I choose who gets to be in my professional world too.
On rare occasion, I get people publicaly trying to start something, often in response to something that they don't feel their worth of. As far as I'm concerned, every last human is worthy of the best of everything, whatever that means to you. It's sad to see too many humans don't realize that so they don't give it to themselves. It's all a choice.
I put up a post last spring when things changed in the hobby asking about the best high end websites. Another provider responded with a not so nice remark. I didn't see her chosen words as worth as response so I simply blocked her. No drama, no internet mindless arguement. No negativity. Life give us enough negative, I really don't feel I need to go looking for more. I don't even remember the girl's name, it's not imporotant to me.
The one who angers you controls you. I'm not one to be controled.
You also won't ever see me taking sides in an argument, I leave that nonsense to those who choose to have it.
I'm not at all saying I'm perfect. When it comes to the hobby, I'm pretty good. It's easier when I can just close laptop and leave the nonsense to those who created it in the first place. I really don't care what others think or say about me. It's none of my business. No no one defines me but and if someone doesn't like it, I'm good with that. If someone loves me, I'm good with that too. I'm going to be me regardless. Approval not needed.
I will treat all humans with respect regardless of how they feel about me. I'm responsible for my character. I work hard to be a good, honest, respectful person and I treat others accordingly because it's who I am. It's a reflection of me. The abilbity to treat others better than they deserve is a skill I worked hard on. It wasn't easy and I still catch myself slipping at times. Sometimes respecing another person is simply ignoring them without putting them down or allowing their negativity to enter my head. I respect that's who they choose to be and I respect me for knowing I don't need that in my life. I leave them in their world without judgment.
We all have the ability to make the choice to do better and be better.
One of the consistant things I've experienced in this hobby over the years is apologies from gentlemen when we can't meet. The common message is "I'm sorry for wasting your time". Let me make one thing VERY clear right now:
I still see you as a blessing. You were interested in spending time with me. You contacted me and tried to see me. It didn't work out due to screening, schedules, unexpected events, whatever. I don't care WHY we didn't meet. You thought enough of me to try to see me. Thank you.
If we can't get you screened today, it doesn't mean we can't accomplish screening in the future, this happens very often. Things change, we grow, learn and expand. I appreciate those who come back and try again. It's NEVER a waste of my time.
The one ones I won't see are the ones who act like a toddler with a dirty diaper and needs a nap. On occasion, I've had guys go off on me in some of the most immature ways and even threaten me. These guys I will NOT try to screen or see in the future. They are permanently on my "NO" list. I'm big on respect. Once I'm shown that someone lowers themselves to disrespect, I'm done. I won't disrespect anyone, regardless of my personal feelings for them. I will, if need be, respectfully remove them from my world.
I'm responsible for any conversation or situation I get myself into. I'm responsible for where I'm at in every aspect of my life. I expect those who contact me to ask like respctful adults with dignity and maturity, you can expect the same from me. It's not my job to teach other adults how to conduct themselves as adults. If someone hasn't figured that out, I'd prefer not to waste my time with an adult who can't act as one, That IS a waste of my time. I'm really good at ingoring the nouns that aren't good for me or bring me negative enery. Allowing myself to see someone who was previously verbally abusive or threating is an irresponsible decision on my part.
Life is beautiful and I'm not done living it. I'm also not going to live it in negative energy which is why I ignore anyone who can't match my respect and maturity. I'm on this planet to enjoy this blessing we call life, not spend it with those who don't know how to conduct themselves properly.
Please, feel free to ask clean, respectful questions. If we don't meet for any reason, I'm walking away with no hard feelings. You did NOT waste my time. You attempted to see me and that is where my focus goes. That is what makes me smile :)
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your consideration, regardless if we met or not.
I take joy and happiness from the little things in life, the things that you can't buy. In fact, I find shopping quite boring and unatisfying. I don't define myself by the tag on my clothes or the vehicle I drive. I'm deeper than materical things. The things I value most in life can't be bought. I just can't get myself excited about material things. I have all I need.
What I do cherish are the things you can't buy. Making someone smile, sharing a wonderful experience, lifting others up. I get more joy out of helping someone reach something in a grocery store or helping someone carry their groceries into their house. It raises my vibration and is so real. The energies, the feelings, their real. Their not manufactured with a price tag. Creating these energies serves the greater good. They never get old, need to be replaced or go out of style.
Yesterday was Mother's Day. The overwhelming e mails and texts wishing me a happy Mother's Day put me in such a great mood. It doesn't matter that I met these people through the hobby. I don't do labels and I don't judge. Why would I? Judgment and happiness don't exist in the same space, I would be hurting myself and putting myself in a bad mood. No body wants that!!!
What I'm taking from all this gratitude, joy, sincerity, happiness and the desire to keep the momentum going. So many people took time out of their on Mother's Day to say "Happy Mother's Day" to me. That means more to me than anything they could buy me. All of those messages were priceless and I appreciate every on of them.
It's the little things that matter, I am grateful....
Once in a while, ususally when I advertise on certain sites, I get the request for 15 minute or half hour apointments or an hour in call. I'm not judging those who want those, to each their own. I simply don't offer them, withouth judgement to those who do. I often get asked why I don't offer these by both gentlemen and ladies.
That's a loaded question. There are a few reasons I don't offer those:
1. I simply don't enjoy them. I want to walk away from a meeting feeling great as much as I want you to do the same. My focus is on mutual pleasure which means my mindset is on BOTH of us having a good time. If I don't enjoy something, don't do it. Life is all about enjoyment, that's what we're on this planet to do. I intend to live the best, most enjoyable life I can, both in and out side the hobby.
2. The service I provide can't be done in 15 minutes or a half hour. I also strongly dislike, and I mean STRONGLY DISLIKE watching the clock. I don't care if it's personal or hobby, I don't enjoy staring at the clock. I don't live my life in a rush so I'm not going to create a situation in which I have to rush.
3. I'm a part time entertainer, I have only 1 meeting a day a few times a week, even when I'm on tour. It makes no business sense to offer such short meetings and have to spend my time seeing multiple people in a day just to cover my expenses. To offer 15 minute and half hour meetings, I would have to entertain full time, see more than one person a day and lower the quality of what I offer. My time is too precious for that and I'm not low quality in any sense of the term.
4. I do offer the hour for out call only near me. I'll drive up to 30 minutes each way for an hour meeting, if you host. I get in call as needed, I don't keep them. It makes no business sense to offer hour in calls the way I do things. I would, once again, have to become a full time entertainer and have more than one meeting a day. Ew.
5. This isn't a reason but an observation:
I tried the lower quality sites, most of the time before realizing their low quality. I've learned not to use brand new sites right away but to give them time and see how they grow. I did learn lessons. In general, 15 minute and half hour guys are less cooperative with screening, many never heard of it. They want to talk to me like I'm a lower life form. They want to discuss inapproite things. I've been asked to meet in some shady places, go to shady hotel and homes or have a "car date". They often haggle and get verbally abusive and threatening when I don't give them what they want. Their higher risk as they don't know the equitte and safety portocalls that most gentlemen do. Their not careful with their own safety so I can't expect them to careful with mine.
Please understand that some gentlemen simply don't know better or only have enough funds or time for a shorter meeting. I'm not referring to them above. They are a small percentage of who asks for those types of meetings. I'm not at all targeting them here. I'm talking about the other 90%.
We all choose the level of risk to take in the hobby and how often we want to hobby. I chose low risk, high quality. I understand that I'm not for everyone and that's OK. That's a beautiful thing about this hobby. We all choose how much risk we take, how safe we want to be and how often we hobby.
For every gentleman I turn down, there are a ton of girls that will see them. That's also a beautiul thing. Gentlemen have choices too :)...
My whole attitude towards gifts is the same attitude I take with reviews: I never ask for them, this, for me, puts an element of "fake" into the situation and I don't do "fake". I have no list on my website telling you what to get me, I don't find that very classy and I don't see my cleints as a source of gifts. If anyone is going to give me a gift, I want it to be from their own free will, their own idea. This is where the value is for me. I don't care about the mointary value of the gift, it's the thought that really resoniates with me.
A few things that stick out in my mind:
A gentleman who read my blog got me a gift card to a health food store near me.
A few gentlemen got me gift cards based on our previous conversations to stores that carry the organic foods I like to eat.
Another gentleman got me a biker shirt in my favorite color.
Another gentleman printed out some great info on hiking trails in a certain area.
A few others gave me gift cards to vegan restaurants.
One guy gave me a candle holder made out of selenite.
I've got flowers on a few occasions.
I've been given other thoughtful gifts as well.
How thoughtful is all of this???
I can honetly say it's the thought that counts. The feeling I get when someone gives me a gift that's picked out with who I am in mind is priceless. It doesn't matter the cost, I honestly don't care. Someone taking the time to get to know me enough to buy a gift that's for me as a person is something I'll always be grateful for.
Gifts are never expected or asked for from me, they are a bonus. I'm grateful for everyone who took the time to get to know me and buy me a gift. You can't put a price on that.
I'm a huge believer in personal responbility, it gives us so much power and control in our lives as well as keeps nonsense away. One way I've learned to practice this is being choosey about whose e mails or texts I answer. Most of them I answer, most are from respectful humans and I certainly respect them back.
What about the nonsense messages? The ones that just say "Wat up" Where you at?" "I can be there in 10, you got 15 minute special?" What's on the menu?" "Send me a picture." They get insulting, apparently there are people out there with nothing better to do but to send nasty messages to ladies. It's impossible to be insulted by someone who makes the choice to spend their time that way. Then there's the game players, those guys try really, really hard!!! The thing is, I've been at this a while and I'm like you mom, I know when you're acting up and I don't play those games.
For the most part I ignore these guys and make a note to not answer their messages in the future. I simply don't take them seriously, their not the kind of gentleman I choose to spend my time with. This upsets a few, they don't like that their unintelligent, undignified and mindless messages didn't get the response they were looking for. Often they continue to show me who they are by getting nasty, threatening and calling me a garden tool. I can't explain why they do this, it makes no sense to me. These chosen behaviors really have nothing to do with me, it's all about them. I've already figured out their not someone I want to see, there's no reason to keep reminding me that I made the right decision. This issue of theirs is deeper than me.
The messages that DO get my attention are pretty simple themselves. "Hi, are you available?" "My name is Good Guy and I'm visitng from Philly. I would like to see you on Monday" "Hi, I filled out your screening form on your website" I'm not hard to please. The Golden Rule is something we are all capeable of.
Just like you, I get to choose who I spend my energy and time with. I don't have the time or the will to spend my energy and time on anyone I don't like, don't respect, can't have an intelligent conversation with or wants less than the quality of a woman whose the compolete package both inside and outside the hobby. I work on me every day, physically, mentally and spiritually. I know I deserve better than game players and nonsense, that's why I've began to ignore them more and more. Not one time has a disrespectful comment turn into a meeting. I want to spend time with people that expect better from themselves.
It's not about being snobby or thinking you're better than anyone. It's also not equality, I don't believe in equality, I believe in being me, there is no standard I need to be equal to. I don't need things, people or circumstances to be equal to me before I feel I have value. The desire to feel equal is the problem, not the lack of not feeling equal. Once I realized this I was able to do what I needed to do to grow and realize that wanting to equal is wanting to be limited or to live up to someone else's standars. That's just not for me.
I know who I want to spend time with. I also don't see anyone under 30, not because I'm snobby , it's because I'm a 45 year old woman and a 20 somthing just doesn't do it for me. We are not equal, and that's not always a bad thing. We're just in 2 different worlds. We shouldn't try to be equal to each other.
At the end of the day, my experiences are the result of my choices. I'm responsible for making choices that are going to give me the best, most comfortable and enjoyable experiences possible. Which messages I choose to answer and who I choose to spend my time with are 2 choices that I make with the intention of resulting in an awesome experience with awesome, mature people.
Have a blessed day and don't be equal!!!...
It's my belief that personal responsibility can make or break a person, personally and professionally. It's a life skill that so many are lacking but greatly need.
We are all responsible for ourselves, our lives, our state of being. Blame has nothing to do with it. We've all been vitimized or screwed over in one way or the other. It doesn't matter whose to blame or who created the situation. Blame is useless. So we find the bad guy. We point fingers, yell and make sure he gets his punishment. So what? We're still personally responsible for ourselves. Choosing anger and blame isn't personally responsible, it's a chosen state or powerlessness. It resolves nothing within ourselves. Even if the person to blame admits their fault, it still doesn't take away our personal responbility.
Responsibility means "responding to your ability". No matter the situation, we are personally responsible for our involvement in it or our choice to leave it all together. No one is stuck, unless they have a limited belief system that says they are. That is also a choice. It doesn't matter if it's a bad relationship, life situation, job, school, thought, habit, expectations of others, political BS, whatever. You always have the power to learn from it and to either make it work for you or leave it behind you enitrely. Nothing can permanently bring you down without your permission.
Making the best our of the worse is alchemy.
When you realize how powerful your everyday choices are and how much you can grow and learn when practicing personal responbility, you'll reach a whole new level of success, relaxization, peace and ease. Life flows. Taking personal responsibility isn't the easy way at first however, it becomes effortless with other parts of your life once you do the work and learn the skills :) When life gets rough, you're better able to handle it and the rough patches pass quicker with less trauma.
We've all been victimized in one way. To remain a victim is a personal choice choice....
I'm a bit old school when it comes to cell phones. I believe as a society we've lost touch with our manners and respect for each other. It seems too many people have theri noses in their phones and are missing out on so much that life has to offer. Two of the biggest things I value are relationships and our power to influence the feelings of others.
The idea for this post is coming from me forgetting to turn my ringer off during a meeting. My phone only rang once and didn't seem to really bother anything about the meeting except me. I like to have my ringer turned off when I'm with someone. When my phone rings, it takes me out of the moment for a second. I don't answer it and I only hear it ring when I forget to turn my ringer off.
When I'm with you, I'm with YOU, mind, body and soul. Unless there's a life or death emergency, every one and every thing can wait until our meeting is over. In the rare occasion that I do leave my ringer on, I won't answer it. When I'm with you, I'm on YOUR time. I havn't done a survey or anything however, I honetly feel that gentlemen are not interested in me answering my phone on THEIR time.
I refuse to do anything that I don't enjoy and the hobby is no exception. I truly enjoy getting to know you, making a connection and creating a meeting that we both can walk away from smiling and happy. I'm all about good vibes, good memories. A memory of me talking on my phone isn't one I want you to have.
The last thing I want any client to feel is that he wasn't the number one priority during our time together. I want him to feel he got great quality, feel good inside and out and allow those good feelings to spill over into other parts of his live.. I'm in a position to add to or take away from someone's life experience. I choose to add to it and turing my phone off is one easy and effortless way I move toward mutal happiness.
As far as my client's phone being on, it's his time, he can do what he wants. I'll patiently wait if he needs to use his phone. Many of my clients need the phone on for work or famly purposes. I don't judge, I just let them do what they need to :)
When it comes to where I don't feel my phone is needed, during my meetings is right up there with the dinner table, family events and next to me while sleeping :)
I'm often asked how I stay healthy and in great shape. This is a loaded question as you're not going to get the typical " I eat like this and exercise like that" or "I'm on so-n-so diet" answer. I go much deeper than that. I know that if I want to truly look good, naturally, I need to take care of my trinity, mind, body and soul.
I live a life as close to nature as I can get. I spend as much time in nature as I can get. I love to hike, swim, meditate, I even like washing my car; as long as I'm outside, I'm happy. Outside is very important to me, gotta breathe in that good ass prana!! I eat a clean, organic, non GMO vegan food. Not only is my food organic and clean (80%of the time), so are my hygeine products, make up, cleaning products and garden products used when I'm at home. I use a filter on all my faucets and an air cleaner in my home.
I'm very active however, I don't exercise with the goal of losing weight or staying in shape. That's really never my number one goal, it's really a side effect of my lifestyle. I want to feel good, be energetic, have a sharp mind and be healthy enough to do the things I love. Like mentioned above, I get outside a lot. When it's not so nice outside, I do yoga and other exercise or visit the gym. I don't have a solid routine, I just do what I'm in the mood to do on a daily basis. Consistency is the key. As long as I'm working out, it doen't matter. Doing what I enjoy increases my enjoyment which increases my well being which contributes to my looks. Likewise, if I have an off day (we all do), it shows in my looks as well as energy level.
Everything starts in the mind. Everything we see started as a thought. Our thoughts are very powerful. The Universal Law of Attraction states that you get what you think and what you are. If I walk around with a negative mindset, the Universe will give me more of that. It will show in my looks. This doesn't mean I'm positive all the time. I embrace my shadow side and see things as they are. Yin and yang, we are all our light and shadow sides. Balance is the key. When I'm off balance, it will show in my looks.
I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. I've never touched illegal drugs. I don't drink. I don't eat crap food. I don't take pharmacuticles. These things are common sense however, the lack of them brings huge results.
I don't use the medical system and won't touch man made drugs. I practice Ayurveda, Tibetian and Chinese medicine. Their all scientifically based and ancient so their very similar.
I never stop learning. I'm always reading, researching, watching documentaries, gong to conventions, etc. There's so much to learn in this world. Knowledge is power, the lack of knowledge is the lack of power. I know knowledge is out there and the more I know the better I do. The more I learn the more I realize how much I don't know. With each opportunity to learn, I get better, healthier, stronger and better looking.
I'm proud of my health, my energy and my body. I have to admit, since my looks are the result of my lifestyle, I don't give it much more thought. I remain grateful for my health and well being, for the ability to live the life I want. I'm gratful that I don't have the stress of trying to stay in shape or keep my weight down while living a life that works against health. I've done that, I didn't like it too much.
That's my short answer, LOL!!
Up selling is a common practice in the hobby and not one I'm very fond of. I've listened to clients for many years now and upselling is often either a deal breaker or the reason he doesn't repeat. No one likes to be treated like an ATM. The gentlemen who choose to see YOU over the endless number of providers available deserves to be treated better and with much more respect.
The hobby is for enjoyment, on both parts. If you're not enjoying your time, the hobby isn't for you and you need to either step it up or get out...that goes for provider or client. How enjoyable is it to stop the flow of the meeting to be asked for more funds or to have to choose what you want and pay for it and give up the natural flow of things? Honestly, that would take away any intersted I had in the meeting.
I find having the type of meeting I enjoy is what clients enjoy themselves. Relaxed in a clean and discreet enviroment, present with each other, sincerely and genually enjoy each other without restrictions or the client worring about what's included. What should be included are the things the provider enjoys. You'll attract the right kind of clients by being yourself. I don't do fake so if I'm not into something, we don't go there. Being genuinie and respectful of yourself will show through your service, so will being fake just to make a buck.
The only time the donation should be thought of is when the client arrives and puts the donation down. Besides a gracious "thank you", that's all the time that should be spent on the donation. The rest of the time is for mutual enjoyment.
I understand the thought process in upselling - "Get the guy there with a cheap rate, get his money and ask for more if he wants what he thought he already paid for" This is dishonest and manipulative. I didn't earn a reputation for being honest and straight with my clients by accident. I earned it by being honest and straight. Up selling isn't either. You may make a few extra bucks on that one meeting however, after experiencing ladies who don't upsell and not getting what he paid for in the first place, he's not going to come back for more up selling. You're actully making less money and working harder to get more new clients, and scamming them. I gurantee I work a lot less, less harder and safer than ladies who can't create a nice regular base due to their upselling.
When a client sees me, the last thing we discuss is the donation. We leave all businss at the door and just settle into being the people we are, get to know each other and go home happy. I will never ask for more than the donation and I deliver as expected. My clients are NOT ATM machines, their humans and deserve to be treated as such.
As a provider, I require respect for my time and I will certainly respect your time. I've noticed that respect is not always practiced when it comes to our client's time. If you really listen to you clients, what they like, don't like, their experiences and openions, you really learn a lot. A reaccuring complaint I hear is their time being wasted. I work with other providers to help them to increase their business or imporve it. I try my best to help them understand, particuarly the new ones, how to not waste a client's time.
I'm not taking anything away from clients wasting a provider's time, that's just not what I'm blogging about here.
Respect is based on the law of exchange, you have to give it to get it. You can't walk around being a disrespectful ass and expect respect in return. The Universe doesn't work that way.
When it comes to a client's time, we as providers need to make sure we're repecting their time as we want ours to be respected. This of course means the basics, be punctual and communicate when that's not possible. This is common courtesy.
How about during the session?
Well, your client is looking for an experience and that's how the time should be spent. This could mean differnt things for differnt clients. What this does not mean is you answer your phone (ringer should be off), e mails, etc. This is HIS time. Give him all the time you agreed to. Really enjoy the experience with him. Really, if you don't enjoy the hobby, it's not the place for you. If you're upbeat and have the mindset that you're going to enjoy your time together, that will rub off on him. No one wants to be with a Negative Nellie.
Don't dump your stress on him, ask him for favors, bad mouth other clients or providers or be insulting or rude. I don't think I need to elaborate on this, this should be common sense.
I've heard a few stories where providers didn't leave on time or had a friend/driver/who ever lurking around, and sometimes showing up. As providers, we want to respect his time as well as ours by leaving on time. He was expecting to have completed the meeting at a certain time and has a life to get back to.
No gentleman wants to spend his time with you wondering why the same car keeps driving by his home or be surprised by your friend either showing up or arrving with you. This is not what he had in mind when he chose to see you. Having somene linger like that can bring unwanted attention. This isn't very discreet and will make him very uncomfortable. That's not what he's paying for.
If you're not interested in how the client would like to spend his time, don't waste his time by seeing him or repeating the appointment. He will be able to pick up on that. I see this as dishonest. If I'm hiring an entertainer, I want them to enjoy their chosen occupation with me. I don't want to be treated like the next in line. It's no fun to be the only one into what you're doing. He will appreciate your honesty and talk well of you later, that could send more clients your way. If you know a provider who would enjoy what he's looking for, refer him to her!!! That's great Karma and only helps out another provider as well as your client.
Respect is a 2 way street. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Talk to your clients, get to know them and how they like to spend their time with you. Make adjustments to how you do things if you begin to hear the same complaints over and over again. Be flexible and change with the tides.
Respect isn't a hard thing to give.
A very common question I get is "Which dates have you enjoyed the most?"
That's a loaded question that takes an entire blog post to answer.
I don't have one favorite date or type of date. I believe having fun starts with a mindset. One of the reasons I keep my schedule light is so our time together is quality time. For this to happen, I need to mentally prepare for our time, as well as physically get ready. I want to enjoy it as much as you do :)
I've had just as much fun in an hour meeting as I have had in an 8 hour meeting. The length of time really doesn't make a difference.
I love meetings with those who are intelligent and can get my wheels spinning. I can't tell you how many times I left a meeting and went straight home to research something. I love to laugh, who doesn't? Like any lady, I like being treated as such. I am a bit old fashioned that way. Chilvary is sexy. It doesn't have to cost a dime, it's all in how your chose to treat others. I believe in treating you well in return. Making a connection with you and creating positive vibes through mutual fun is what I enjoy the most.
Dinner dates are always fun. They really give us a chance to get to know each other. It doen't matter to me if it's Shaw's Crab House or Applebees, enjoying each other is the goal. I don't like to rush, I like to take our time and really enjoy every moment. This helps to build antipation for after dinner ;) There's nothing sexier than a gentleman that knows how to treat wait staff and other humans. It makes being with you all the more special.
Day long dates have been interesting to say the least. I've been blessed to meet some people that are so much fun to be around. I'm an avid hiker and was blessed with a hiking date. We spent the day hiking, talking and exploring. I was sore the next day as he's apparently more avid than I am! :) I've attended various types of conventions, corporate events, seminars, charity events etc. These experiences can really be mind opening. I've had a few dates that included live music, I love music. As long as we're both willing, fun will be had!!!
I can go on about the types of dates I like. I think you get the picture. Any date that includes mutual fun is my favorite. It all starts with our mindset :)
Of course private time is always awesome. I'm not blogging about it because I don't kiss and tell :)...
The hobby is for enjoyment, casual fun without commitment or strings attached. How we have that fun is a personal choice of each individual. As long as you're not hurting anyone, do what you want. When it comes to 420, harder drugs, prescription drugs and alcohol, I do have my opinions.
420 - As a Courtesan I don't care if you indulge when we're at your place. I do not allow it at mine. I don't mind if you come to my place on it, just use common sense when you drive. I do feel it should be decriminalized everywhere and I see it as a medicine and recrational plant. It's medicine for many.
Alcohol - I have no problem if you enjoy a drink or a few, as long as you don't get drunk. I want to have a nice, memorable evening with you, I don't want to babysit a drunk. I don't drink, I've never had a problem with alcohol. I'm just into wellness so it doesn't fit my lifestyle. I don't judge those who enjoy alcohol, to each their own.
Street Drugs - I've never touched them. If you show up with them or on them, I'm not touching you either. Coke, Heroine, whatever else you chose to lower yourself to, it's not welcome in my world. If you have an issue with any of these, please get help. You were not put on this planet to waste away like that, there's so much more to you.
Prescription Drugs - My feelings are the same as above, if you're abusing them, don't see me. Get yourself some help. Just because a drug is from a doctor doean't mean it's safe to abuse and isn't destroying your insides and your mind.
It blows my mind how often I get offered these things for payment. Being on drugs is so common these days that people just offer them to you on the assumption you do them. Living a life you enjoy is so much better than wasting away. Spending time with me will make you forget all about any substance ;)...
Through the years I have received a ton of dic pics and naked guys pics. I've never really understood what response the senders were trying to get out of me. Am I supposed to look at a random winkie and think "Hmmm, I gotta see that guy right now!" or "Wow, a naked guy, we'll just skip screening and meet at the local Motel 6"
What am I supposed to do with all these pictures? Make a Johnson collage to hang in my bedroom? Put them in a folder on my computer in order of shape and size? I normally just delete them. I just have no idea what the vaule is there.
There isn't a naked pic that turns me on. It takes more than that. It does lower your changes of seeing me, I normally put these guys on my "no" list. I just can't get myself to be impressed by something so mindless. Many of my clients are very impressive, they are much more than their willie.
I understand men are visiual however, I am not. Looks are great however, if that's all you have, it's empty. There's nothing there. I want to spend my time with gentlemen that are so much more than thier schlong. Just like some gentlemen like a complete package, so do I.
There are a small handful of gentlemen that feel a naked or dic pic should be enough for screening. I'm not sure where the logic is here. The ability to stand in frot of your bathroom mirror and take a pic of yourself really doesn't tell me what I need to know for screening.
Naked and dic pics are creepy. I want to know YOU. If I'm creeped out for any reason, I'm not going to see you. Pecker pics are never neccessary. When I see naked pics and dic pics, I see the picture above...Creepy guy. Don't be creepy guy.
I've been asked by quiet a few wonderful people to blog about how I stay in shape, look young and vibrant, have immense energy and drive and stay in balance and in a good mood. I'm happy to blog about this as wellness is a passion of mine. Be forewarned, I'm not the typical "I count calories and exercise" person. I dive deeper than that.
My looks and state of mind are the result of a balanced lifestyle. I see myself as more than my looks, my mind and soul are also in great shape (most of the time). This takes work, dedication and an open mind. I live by the 80/20 rule, 80% good stuff, 20% not so good stuff. I don't believe in being perfect as I don't believe perfection exists. Here are some of the things I do:
It all Starts in my head. One of the Universal Laws is Mentalism, everything starts in the mind. I meditate, often by a lake or ocean or out in nature. Keeping a peaceful, calm, motivated mindset is my catalyst to health and balance. I don't watch mainstream TV or mainstream news. I do enjoy a good documentary, comedy movie or comedians (laughing is healing) or anything I can learn from. I'm an avid reader, I love nonfiction I can learn and grow from. What I feed my mind makes a difference in my state of being.
A lifestyle that fits our desires is neccessary to manifest those desires. I live a very mindful lifestyle. Through out my day, I ask myself "Is the highest and best use of my time" I don't drink or do drugs, they cloud the mind. I've never really been a big drinker, just socially. I've since lost interst in drinking all together. It's amazing what we can accomplish when our mind is in balance and clear.
I don't believe in diets, I believe in lifestyle, that gives easier and lasting results. I don't count calories, I count nutrients. I really have no idea how many calories I eat in a day. I'm sure it varies. I'm a vegan and I eat only organic and non gmo food. I eat often through the day. I prepare most of my meals myself or go to restuarants that offer what I eat. It's getting easier and easier to find such places. Again, perfection isn't what's important, it's 80/20. I do occasionally visit my local frozen yogurt place or enjoy a cookie or 2. It's all about balance.
I drink alkaline water all day, it's almost all I drink. I do enjoy a good smoothie on occasion. If I'm in a restaurant, I'll put lemon in my water to make it alkaline. I'm often offered regular water when visiting someone or at a social gathering. I'll drink it. I'll just balance it out with alkaline water and alkaline food.
I'm very active. I hike 2 to 5 times a week. I run and do yoga every morning. I visit the gym when the weather isn't cooperating or I just feel I need to get some strength training in. I love to swim. Besides my morning run and yoga, I don't keep a strict workout schedule or routine. There's really nothing routine about me. I just do what I enjoy. I'm naturally athletic and active, I'm told I was born that way :)
I avoid low frequency nonsense. I don't do drama or gossip about others. None of us are perfect so no one has the right to point fingers. I will simply walk away. I refuse to talk bad about others, that's not good for the Karma. I don't hang around people who involve themselves in nonsense. I prefer people that lift others up, inspire me, grow me, teach me. I hope I can do the same for others. I do enjoy stimulating, intelligent, mind opening conversation.
I manage my peeps. I make sure I'm surrounded only by people who want to see me succeed and work hard at their own success. We become like the 5 people we're aroud the most. Those people need to be good for me and I them. I don't get close to anyone who has energy I don't like or is OK with hurting otheres or bringing them down. We're all on this planet together, lifting others up only benefits humanity.
Time management. Family can keep us busy and so can a few other things in life. I do my best to manage my time well. When things do get busy against my will, I don't like it. I hate rushing around or hurring up to get something done. It's not a healthy state to be in.
I'm my own doctor. I practice holistic heath and natural medicine. I don't believe in uncurable di ease, only medically uncurable. I don't see medical doctors (unless I cut off an arm or break a bone or something to that extent). I don't take pharmacuticles, I take thier natural equalivent if needed. How can man think he can make better meds than Gaia?
I avoid stress as much as possible and manage the stress I have. I live a wonderful lifestyle below my means. I don't over schedule myself or worry about what doesn't matter. Stress can kill.
Knowledge is power, the lack of knowledge is the lack of power. I love to learn, grow and see just how far I can go during my time on this planet. I love my life and being well and in balance. I love that my body is toned and strong. I love the freedom to live life as I see best for me. I love life beause I created the life I love :)
When you're living right, no extra work is needed to look good, you just naturally do.
Lately I'm seeing a lot of websites that offer screening thorugh thier sites and whitelists. These sites mean well and they have a nice idea however, I use them in additon to my own screening, never as a subsitiute. I will never use that type of screening alone, other methods will always be used. Recently I had a gentleman get very upset with me because I wouldn't see him on a handle and on an advertising site that offers a list of his references. (This was NOT P411) This is a good start however, it does NOT give me enough info through screening to feel safe seeing you.
I don't know what kind of "screening", if any a website does. White lists are grossly abused, a large number of the gentlemen on there didn't even see the ladies that whitelisted them. There are laides out there that will whitelist gentlemen they never seen in exchange for a good review or a few bucks. I'll look at a whitelist however, I'm not nieve enough to see someone simply because he's whitelisted. I've been offered good reviews and money to whitelist someone I've never seen. Doing so will cost me my dignity. I won't ever risk the safety of others for a measly review or a few dollars.
I never see someone simply because some website says they screened them. I have no idea what this "screening" consists of. I practice personal responbility when it comes to my own well being. Depending on some site to throughly screen for me and I do no other screening is just nieve and lazy. The new sites in particular offering screening just don't get my trust. Some of them are great sites, just not good for screening.
There are a few sites I use becasue their screening sites, not a new site trying to do and be everything. However, I still do my own screening. P411 is great. I do other screening in additon to P411. RS-AVS is also awesome however, I do other screening in additon to them. These 2 sites are the only ones whose screening I take seriously besides the blacklists and I still do additional screening.
Website handles are easily faked and I've came accross quite a few gentlemen who have multiple handles on the same site. It's not hard to get on most sites. The easier the hobby site is to get on, the less reliable it is. If you're on a site that is OK with just a handle and nothing else, chances are the screening part of that site is useless. Reviews and whitelists are often fake, exchanged for free services or a lower rate or used for blackmail.
There are too many tools out there for providers to be able to properly screen that none of us need to accept the higher risk of seeing someone on a handle and some website's screening. The risk is just too great. I have a life to live, I deserve to do whatever screening I see neccessary for my own well being.
I understand this isn't the level of safety many hobbiest play one. As mentioned above, I had someone upset with me because I wouldn't see him on a handle and references on a website alone (not P411). He felt that since I'm on that site, their screening should be enough and no additional info is needed. How am I supposed to know that handle belongs to him, he's safe and he actually saw those ladies? Even P411 had ladies giving OKs without ever meeting the guy. This isn't P411's fault or any website's fault. I know P411 takes action when they relaize this is being done, not all websites do. I notice some of the newer sites that offer screening have a larger number of guys that are blacklisted on them. This makes me wonder what "screening" are they doing when a simple blacklist search will reveal these guys as dangerous.
The bottome line is screening and my safety are my personal responbility and it's my job to do as I see fit to protect myself. If that upsets someone, so be it. At the end of the day, I have a life to live and I'm not willing to risk that for any reason.
We've all see the ads that say "No AA" or "White Men Only" and other things to that effect. To each their own however, you won't ever see such things in my ads.
I don't do racism. I'm not racist and I don't fight that demon. I simply don't involve myself in it in any way. Resistence makes stronger. If I choose to fight racism, I feed it. Fighting only creates the negative energy it needs to survive. Racism isn't a natural thing, not what we're put on this planet for. I believe to change the world, we need to change ourselves. I don't allow racism in my world and I don't give it attention when it looks my way. My thoughts and actions do not play well with racism so it can not thrive in my world.
I don't believe skin color tells me a darn thing about a person. Not one thing. Their energy does. I look at it in a logical way. I don't know every human in any given group so how can I apply a certain trait, attitude, lifestyle, etc. on all of one group when I don't know them all? I can tell you I don't want to be in the same league as some people with my skin color (I'm not all white). Some people with the same skin color as me aren't that great, others are awesome and there's everything in between. None of it has anything to do with me. How can I look at a Mexican, Canadian, African American, Indian, Native American, etc. and think I know anything about them because of how they look? That's pure ingorance as far as I'm concerned. It also eliminates the posibility to get to know some pretty amazing people. I've been blessed with great people in my life and I'm not willing to give them up over such minor differences that don't make a difference.
There are bad people out there however, eliminating an entire group of people over mindless racist beliefs also eliminates good people and great clients. The Universe will give me exactly what I asked for and I won't be happy with that choice. I have wonderful clients that come in a rainbow of colors. Choosing to be racist would have eliminated the opportunity to get to know these people, spend time with them, learn from them and create wonderful provider/hobbiest relationships. When I look at what I would have to give up to participate in the ugliness of racism, not one thing looks appealing. It doesn't serve me, my clients, or the Universe. It creates negative energy and steals joy and happiness. It requies a small mind and even smaller intelligence. There is no benefit in racism.
We are all on this planet together, we are all earthlings. Racism only exists in our worlds if we allow it. In my openion, if I allowed it in my life, I would be lowering myself to something mindless and that doesn't serve me. It serves no one. The best way to get rid of suck dark, negative energy is to starve it of attention. Without human attention, it can't possibly live.
Competiton causes us to compare. There's no good in that. There's no place for authenticity. It's too limiting.
I don't compete in any part of my life, I don't see the point. Competition creates seperation and gets me focused on what someone else is doing. That's time and energy I could be useing to focus on the things I can control...myself. Competiton creates winners and losers. I don't believe that concept. In my world, anyone who is choosing to work every day to be the best person they can is a winner. It doesn't matter where the next person is on their path, what matters is improvement, effort, attitude, and doing what it takes to step up without hurting or taking from anyone. Competition will never allow me to be my greatest version, only better than the person I'm competing with. That doesn't allow for me to grow to my fullest potentinal. I don't like the limited mindset competiton requires.
As far as the hobby goes, I don't see other ladies as competiton. I see them as either my allies or neutal. There's some really great ladies in this hobby that have a lot to offer other ladies and are very generous with thier knowledge and time. During this last shake up in the hobby, I got some great guidance and infomation from my fellow providers and had the opportunity to share what I know. Some of these ladies I didn't know, I never knew existed until I put up a post or sent an e mail on the advice of another in the hobby. Others I knew. We are all in this together and unity is what keeps us safe, informed and growing. Lifting each other up and supporting each other only gives us more of what we need. Competition does not offer this.
I myself got busy when the shake up happen. I had ladies contacting me for advice and assistance in adjusting. I myself was also adjusting. I met with everyone I could to help lift them up and share what I know. It feels really good to give someone a tool or advice that resionates with them. A nice conversation over lunch with a like minded individual is priceless. The best part to all of this is even though I was meeting ladies who came to me for help, I always walked away learning something myself. These ladies helped me more than they will ever know. Everyone I meet has a lesson for me. It may be minor such as a piece of advice or something game changing, it doesn't matter. It's all a blessing.
When it comes to the hobby, I believe there is no safety in competition. Something that causes us to have "them and us" thinking and ecnourages seperation, keeps us from connecting not only with each other but with ourselves as well. Unity helps to keep us all safe, communicating and sharing info. The Universal Law of Diving Oneness says we are all connected, we are all one. What we do can effect others and the Universe. When we realize we are all connected, we make better choices.
The Universal Law of Cause and Effect are at work here. Better knowledge can cause us to make better decisions and effect the way we go about things. It can help us imporve ourselves as people, providers and whatever else we choose to be. There is a cause for every effect and effect for every cause. There is no such thing as chance.
The Universal Law of Attraction is at work here a well. We attract what we are, what we think. When we adopt a mindset of helping others and lifting others up, that is what will come back to us. If we compete, see others as a threat or someone or something we need to be better than or somehow out do, that is what comes back to us. A life of competition, in my openion, is stressful, limiting and keeps from connecting with others. Why compete? Where is the prize? Why would I choose to attract more and more competiton into my life? That just sounds too stressful and way too limiting.
The best thing we can do for our own growth is to become better than we were yesterday and lift others up. Don't participate in competition, that's for those who accept limits in their lives, you can't have competiton without limited thinking. We need to grow our minds and think beyond competition. That's where the good stuff is.
I have no competiton, I have allies or those who I see as neutral. It doesn't matter how they see me, that's their own path. Competiton has no place in the world of Becca :)
My thoughts on reviews are differnt than most providers. I've been around since 2006, have reviews going back to 2007 and I've seen a heard a lot.
I believe that reviews are a decent tool for gentlemen however, their not solid sources of information and are often fake, exaggerated or written as part of some kind of deal or threat. A few months ago there were people offering to write reviews under various TER handles for $100 to $175. Lots of ladies took advantage of this dangerous and disgusting offer. Reviews should never be your only source of info. I use reviews to verify ladies before asking them for a reference. If their reviews seem to be off, I don't accept a reference from that particular provider.
As mentioned above, ladies can "buy" fake reviews. Others make fake accounts acting like clients and write their own fake reviews. I've been offered reviews instead of screening. I've also been asked for a discount more times than I can count for a discount for writing a reviews. I find bartering with reviews tasteless and classless. Fake reviews are rampid and very easy to either buy or write yourself.
There are a handful of boys (these are NOT men and calling them boy is giving them too much credit) That use reviews for manipulation or to get something out of a provider she doesn't offer or to control her in any way. I've been threatened with fake reviews quite a bit through the years. Some examples are:
"Lower your rate and see me or I'll write a bad review"
"Do this act you don't offer or I'll write a bad review"
"Don't come to my city or I'll write a bad review" (Back Page "Agency")
"See me without screening or I'll write a bad review"
You get the idea.
The idea here is to make me think that some dude with a computer has the power to hurt my business. Here's a new flash for them:
REVIEWS DO NOT MAKE OR BREAK ANY PROVIDER'S BUSINESS.
Noone in the hobby has the power to ruin me or other providers with fake reviews. If a prodvider's business fails, it will take a hell of a lot more than some bad reviews.
Reviews, in my humble openion and in my experience, should be taken with a grain of salt and should never be your only resource when researching a provider.
On a peronal note, I won't be contrlled by any theats. I didn't thrive in this hobby as long as I have by reacting to threats. I've had pleanty of them. I know how to handle them and squash them just as quickly as they come my way. I have found that sites like TER take these things seriously. I believe it's impossible for them or any review site to avoid the fake and exaggerated reviews. Simply e mailing them about the threat along with the e mail or text messages if you have them stops bad reviews from being posted, from my experience with TER
I like to keep things real and honest. Every one of my reviews were written because the client decided to write them. I don't do "review specials" and I've never, not once, asked a client to write a review. I didn't know I had reviews until about a year after the first one was written. I'm a very real person. I take pride in all I am. I don't do fake or ask for reviews because to me, that takes away from the authencity of the review and of myself.
Life happens and changes our plans at times. We can't control factors outside of ourselves however, we can choose how to handle them when they get in the way. I never really like cancelling a commitment, it doesn't matter if it's in the hobby or personal life, I simply don't like doing it.
When someone cancels on me, I practice compassion and respect. I appreciate him letting me know and I'm willing to schedule again when he's ready. None of my hobby freinds will ever get an attitude from me for having to cancel. They also will never be asked to pay a cancellation fee. I don't see the purpose in punishing someone for cancelling a meeting.
When someone chooses to see me, I want them to have a great time, I want to have a great time and I want him to come back. If our meeting gets cancelled before we meet in person, I want the gentleman to feel comfortable rescheduling with me. I want my regulars to feel comfortable rescheduling.
If I charged cancellation fees, I'm asking a gentleman to pay for something he didn't receive. Who is going to want to come back or reschedule with me if their risking having to pay a cancellation fee? I certainly won't come back for that if it were me. I've had to cancel in the past and I never paid a cancellation fee. I also appreciated the understanding of others.
I have a few clients that have personal circumstances or occupations that could cause them to cancel. Doctors, those with ill family members, those running certain businesses, etc. often get called away at a moment's notice. These gentlemen seem to appreicate my understanding. As a result they don't get called away very often and we have a wonderful time. When they do, they normally reschedule. It's all good in my book.
Collecting a cancellation fee is a battle I don't choose. There are a few gentlemen that will pay it. Others will just ignore it. I really don't want to spend my time messaging you to pay a cancellation fee. That's going to bring negative energy, put me in a negative state of mind that does no one any good as well as keep gentlemen from seeing me again. Even if someone paid the cancellation fee, it will be a lot less than if he saw me in the future and paid my regular rate. What's the up side to a cancellation fee? I can't find one.
I believe in the Golden Rule and the Universal Law of Exchange. I treat otheres as I want to be treated, with respect, kindness, understanding, compassion, etc. I don't take without giving. I keep myself and my life in balance. In my openion, collecting a cancellation fee while giving nothing in return is out of balance. It won't feel right. It's no good for my Karma and brings me negative energies as well as hurts my hobbying experience. Structuring my life so that little things like a cancellation are no big deal really helps to keep things positive.
Don't get me wrong, I won't let myself be used or abused. If someone abuses my kindness, I still won't hit them with a cancellation fee. I'll simply stop scheduling with them. I wont be disrespectful or mean to them. I will simply stop the abuse.
It's amazing how little I get cancellations. Choosing to do right by others really brings good things. The hobby is no exception.
Every now and then I get asked where to find on my website what I would like for a gift. My website has no such page. I'm not putting anyone down for doing so, we all do things our own ways within our own belief systems and comfort zone. This is just MY thoughts on the subject.
When someone chooses to buy me a gift, it means so much more when they do so on their own without being prompted. The gift itself isn't as important to me as someone deciding on their own to go out of their way to spend their time, effort and money to buy me something not expected. The thought is priceless. The actual cost of the gift or what it is doesn't matter.
I'm 44, have done great in the hobby the past 11 years and I have just about every material thing I want. I'm not rich nor is it important form me to be. I dont care about designer clothes, expensive purses with some dude's name I don't know on it or anythin else. I'm just not a materialistic person. What matters to me these days is meeting great people and having a nice time with them. Experiences are so much more important, connecting with someone, learning from them, sharing, and when we go our seperate ways, us both feeling great with happy memories. This is where the value is and you can't buy it.
I feel the same way about tips. Like gifts, their appreciated in the same way.
If I ask for a gift, it just won't have the same meaning. If I get picky about a gift, it takes the value and specialness away no matter what that gift costs.
I don't think more of someone who buys me a gift or gives me a tip and I certainly don't think less of someone who doesn't. I care about the person you are and our time together. Gifts and tips are flattering and appreciated but never expected. I don't want a gentleman to feel he's obligated to buy me something. I expect nothing outside of my rate.
We see the phrase "low volume" in a lot of provider ads. I've even been asked by my potentional clients if I'm "low volume". I always say yes, however, one person's idea of being low volume may not be the same at the next person's.
So...when I say I'm low volume, what do I mean and how is that different from other providers?
Well, I can't speak for other providers and I never speak negatively about them (unless someone is dangerous) however, I can speak for myself. When I say I'm low volume when not touring, I have 1 meeting a day, 2 to 3 times a week. That's it. When on tour, I will have 1 meeting in the morning/afternoon and 1 in the evening. They are hours apart.
I do nothing I don't enjoy and the hobby is not exception. If I were high volume, I would't be at my best, my energy would be low and I wouldn't enjoy what I do. I wouldn't feel fresh, clean and ready for a great time. That just takes away from my quality of life. As a client, you work hard for your money and deserve the best. I like to be at my best...freshly showered, in a good minset, exercise and good food before our meeting, high energy, alert and ready for a great time. I want you to feel you got good quality for your money. The only way to truly achieve this is to be good quality.
As much as I want you to walk away feeling like you had a great time and got your money's worth, I want to walk away feeling like I had a great time also. If this ever stops being fun, I will stop doing it. I love the feeling after a meeting...graditude, relaxed, happy, often doing web searches because something during our conversation caught my interest. I don't know how many times I've walked away from a meeting feeling like I learned or realized something. I keep an open mind and don't judge. Judgement stops growth.
In my world, low volume brings higher quality. This is why I don't offer 15 minute or half hour meetings. The service I provide can't be done in such a short period of time. Some things are just more important than the money. Growth, respect, happiness and doing what we enjoy are just a few.
There is no escape from Karma. Karma doesn't judge or care about what man made nonsense is said or believed. Karma simply gives us what we are. If I did't give the best experience I can to those who so kindly choose to see me, that could back to me in other ways besides not having repeat clients.
Low volume works the best for me :)
I see Karma as something to be respected and a personal responbility. Karma isn't something we can escape. Karma doesn't judge, it just gives us what we put out into the Universe. The hobby is no exception.
It's very important to me to keep my Karma clean. When it comes to the hobby, I do this in many ways. My ads respresent me, my pictures are current, me and what you see when I arrive. I play no games. I do not misrepresent myself, my looks, what I offer or anything else in my ads. I'm respectful of other people's homes when I'm in them. I'm responsible for what I say and how I represent myself. I see no benefit in misrepresenting myself and, really, I have no reason to. I want to attract the tye of gentlemen I like to spend time with. Honesty is the only way to do that.
When I answer messages or communicate with another human, I'm respectful and nonjudgemental. If someone is rude or disrespectful, I respectfully ignore them. I don't lower myself to an arugement or trying to get the last word or come up with the best comeback. This serves no one. I simply respectfully ignore those who can't practice the Golden Rule. I have no time for negative nonsense.
During my meetings, I'm all about having a great time together, just us two. A great time brings clean and positibe Karma. Happiness and Joy are so good for our souls and creating that with another person is an amazing experience. I love to leave people feeling better than when I arrived. I'm honest, sincere and respectful of who you are, how you feel and the fact that you set aside time for us to be together. After each meeting, when I leave or right after you leave, I take a moment, breathe and say thank you for the time we just had. I'm grateful for every person who has chosen to spend their time with me.
It doesn't matter if it's within the hobby or in personal life, Karma is always at work. It's something we need to keep clean as much as we can. How I treat others determines what comes back to me. Karma doesn't judge and isn't concerned with man made beliefs or ideas of what's right and wrong or good and bad. None of that effects Karma. Karma also doesn't do excuses. How I choose to treat others, regardless of the situation, is also how I choose what comes back to me. Each person is in full control of their lives and Karma. It's a personal responbility :)
Discreet is a word we all see in the hobby. We see it mentioned in forum posts, personal e mails and in provider ads. I've been known to put that word in ads myself. It all sounds good however, what exactly does it mean to be "discreet"?
I can't speak for other providers however, I can tell you what I mean when I tell you I'm discreet.
1. What happens between us stays between us. I don't talk about you or our time together. I've earned the trust of my clients and I would never violate that trust.
2. My in call locations are clean and upscale. I'm very low volume so there is never a number of clients before you that know where we're meeting. I switch locations often and I'm very low volume.
3. I don't save or share your screening info. Afeter I complete the screening I have no reason to keep any of your info. I delete everything. I don't want to be responsible for someone else's information.
4. I behave myself. I do anything that will draw unwanted attention.
5. When I come to you, I'm properly dressed and behave myself as to now draw unwanted attention.
6. I will never contact you unless ask to. I'm not interested in causing possible problems for anyone.
Your comfort is just as important as mine. If we can't have trust and discression, niether one of us can completely relax and enjoy our time together.
Welcome to my blog!! I plan on blogging on a regular basis so I hope you come back soon!!
I'm happy to take suggestions so if there's something you would like me to share my opinion on, please send message me and let me know :)
This website is a work in progress so please be paitent with any flaws you might see. This is my first time doing this on my own, I'm pretty happy with my progress so far.
I'll start the serious blogging in a few days. For now, I'm going to work on improving this website :)
I plan on updating the pictures on my website on a regular baisis. I use new pictures weekly in my ads as well.