Black Lists and "NO" list

06 Jun, 2020

Safety is a huge concern in this hobby, it's more important and comes before anything, including compensation.  Professional ladies that value their and their client's well being will screen any new client.  This is just common sense.  Don't meet strangers without checking them out first.  One of the multiple ways I do this is to check the industry black lists. 


From my experience, not everyone knows what a black list is.  I'll explain it here: 

The industry black lists are websites in which we search for a client.  What will pop up is any reports made on him from providers he's seen in the past. If nothing is on him, nothing will come up, this is always a good thing.  I personally check 2 black lists, not everyone uses the same ones.  Often if a gentlemen is reported in one, he's in another.  Bad guys tend to repeat their bad guy BS with multiple providers.


I use common sense when checking these lists.  If a guy was blacklisted for a no call/no show back in 2012 and there is nothing else negative on him, I'll still see him if I'm able to screen him.  However, if he's blacklisted for robbing, stalking or otherwise mistreating another human, no more screening is neccessary.  I won't see him. I go client by client because everyone is different.  I feel putting everyone in the same box, under the same set of rules is counter productive because, contrary to what our society tells us, there is no such thing as one size fits all.  That's why I have multiple screening options in the first place.  I treat everyone as an individual, not just another client.  I see humans, not robots.


I do report to the black list when I feel it is neccessary which is a lot less often than you may think.  Black lists are for safety so I make black list reports when I feel someone is or could be a threat to another person's safety and well being.  Due to my screening, I very seldom come accross someone like this. 


Some things I don't report because their petty and not really a safety issue.  Refusing to cooperate with screening has a lot of gentlemen blacklisted.  I don't see a gentleman that doesn't want to screen as black list worthy, unless he gets threatening or abusive.  I won't see him because I require screening.  I also won't black list him.  I don't black list for canceling a meeting.  Life happens.  9 times out of 10, he makes another appointment and we have a wonderful time.  When it comes to no call/no show, I give the gentleman time to get back to me.  I send him 1 message, no more.  If he gets back to me and says something came up, he forgot or whatever answer that I feel is honest, I won't black list him.  If he comes back with lies, excuses, not taking responiblilty or pretends we didn't have a meeting or completely ignores me, I will black list him as a game player and NC/NS.  I'm really good at confirming so if he doesn't show up and I'm there waiting for him, I know he knew because he confirmed back and I'll black list him.  I don't like to wast time, mine or yours.


I do have a personal "NO" list which consists of black listed and not black listed guys.  This list is gentlemen who brought me negative experiences, headaches, disrespect or are known to hurt other humans.  I also check this one when a fellow provider asks for a reference.  They care enough to respect their own well being, I'm going to care enough to give an honest reference.


With all this said, due to my screening and where I advertise, I get very little contact from undesireables.  When they do contact me, I politely don't see them.  I really have no room in my life for game players and bad guys.  Life is to be enjoyed and lived, every aspect of it.  When I see someone for the first time, I show up with the mindset of having a mutually enjoyable experience together without the worries of something going wrong or getting dangerous.  I'm at my best when I KNOW the person I'm spending time with is safe and wants the same thing out of our experience together as I do.


The black lists are a great tool however, that's all they are. I don't make a lot of black list reports, in 2018, I believe I made 3 the entire year. Black lists are for dangerous, disrespectful, game players that want to hurt, use or abuse others for their own personal gain.  My DNS list my personal list compriesed of gentlemen I've had a personal experience with.  Some danerous, some begging for services I don't offer and won't take no for an answer, some are safe but annoying and disrespectful.  This list isn't long, thanks to my screening and where I advertise.  I'm very fortunate as I don't have bad experiences often enough to remember them all.


Have a blessed life