I'm a huge believer in personal responbility, it gives us so much power and control in our lives as well as keeps nonsense away. One way I've learned to practice this is being choosey about whose e mails or texts I answer. Most of them I answer, most are from respectful humans and I certainly respect them back.
What about the nonsense messages? The ones that just say "Wat up" Where you at?" "I can be there in 10, you got 15 minute special?" What's on the menu?" "Send me a picture." They get insulting, apparently there are people out there with nothing better to do but to send nasty messages to ladies. It's impossible to be insulted by someone who makes the choice to spend their time that way. Then there's the game players, those guys try really, really hard!!! The thing is, I've been at this a while and I'm like you mom, I know when you're acting up and I don't play those games.
For the most part I ignore these guys and make a note to not answer their messages in the future. I simply don't take them seriously, their not the kind of gentleman I choose to spend my time with. This upsets a few, they don't like that their unintelligent, undignified and mindless messages didn't get the response they were looking for. Often they continue to show me who they are by getting nasty, threatening and calling me a garden tool. I can't explain why they do this, it makes no sense to me. These chosen behaviors really have nothing to do with me, it's all about them. I've already figured out their not someone I want to see, there's no reason to keep reminding me that I made the right decision. This issue of theirs is deeper than me.
The messages that DO get my attention are pretty simple themselves. "Hi, are you available?" "My name is Good Guy and I'm visitng from Philly. I would like to see you on Monday" "Hi, I filled out your screening form on your website" I'm not hard to please. The Golden Rule is something we are all capeable of.
Just like you, I get to choose who I spend my energy and time with. I don't have the time or the will to spend my energy and time on anyone I don't like, don't respect, can't have an intelligent conversation with or wants less than the quality of a woman whose the compolete package both inside and outside the hobby. I work on me every day, physically, mentally and spiritually. I know I deserve better than game players and nonsense, that's why I've began to ignore them more and more. Not one time has a disrespectful comment turn into a meeting. I want to spend time with people that expect better from themselves.
It's not about being snobby or thinking you're better than anyone. It's also not equality, I don't believe in equality, I believe in being me, there is no standard I need to be equal to. I don't need things, people or circumstances to be equal to me before I feel I have value. The desire to feel equal is the problem, not the lack of not feeling equal. Once I realized this I was able to do what I needed to do to grow and realize that wanting to equal is wanting to be limited or to live up to someone else's standars. That's just not for me.
I know who I want to spend time with. I also don't see anyone under 30, not because I'm snobby , it's because I'm a 45 year old woman and a 20 somthing just doesn't do it for me. We are not equal, and that's not always a bad thing. We're just in 2 different worlds. We shouldn't try to be equal to each other.
At the end of the day, my experiences are the result of my choices. I'm responsible for making choices that are going to give me the best, most comfortable and enjoyable experiences possible. Which messages I choose to answer and who I choose to spend my time with are 2 choices that I make with the intention of resulting in an awesome experience with awesome, mature people.
Have a blessed day and don't be equal!!!